


The Joker's Big Boner

by ngm



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Dom Bruce, Established Relationship, M/M, Punishment Sex, Rough Sex, dom batman, ooops I fucked up sex, sub joker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-17 17:30:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10598772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ngm/pseuds/ngm
Summary: For @gayforbatjokes based on her Daddy's Home headcanon where the Joker causes some kind of attention getting shit-show and Bruce is furious.





	

 

 

The Joker looked at the land line and sat back in the winged chair he was perched in, chin in his hand, brows furrowed with a teeny tiny bit of anxiety.  

Well...

He let out a sigh through his nose, tapping his fingers against his cheek as he glanced at the massive fireplace to his right. This was his comfort zone in the house, or well, one of them. After all, LOOK at that thing! You could drive a car into it! Could work too, if he could get a car onto this floor of the manor.

He'd tried. It didn't go over well. 

Kind of like _now._   

The Clown and the Bat had been a lot more accepting to this new lifestyle of theirs, falling almost too easily into this domestic rhythm and frankly, Joker had found himself not getting too bored... yet. Though, there WERE days like today, where maybe, accidentally (okay, it wasn't an accident) where he'd been denied enough attention by the Bird, the Butler and the Bat that perhaps, he had to make a little scene. 

So a bomb threat to a local theater that he'd accidentally (okay, so, this WAS an accident) forgotten that Robin's Academy had been on a field trip to-- ' _that's why'd I thought of the damn place,'_ coupled with there maybe actually being an **ACTUAL** bomb there... Which hey, in his defense, it didn't go off until _AFTER_ the place was evacuated but... 

 The Joker glanced back at the land line, rolling his chin in his hand as he waited for the damn thing to ring again. 

Bruce had called a few moments earlier, voice fairly calm, even, controlled. It had made the clown horribly uneasy but he couldn't help smiling into the receiver, knowing that the other man could hear the way his mouth was pulled as he answered.

"What did you do."

"Welllllllll....." 

And the Joker roundaboutly told his partner about his tiny, little, itty bitty indiscretion. It certainly hadn't warranted the police. Okay, well it did, and the fire department, bomb squad-- it was a shit show that was ultimately going to come out of a Wayne bank account-- but that wasn't such a big deal, was it?

"--No, no, I didn't know that the kid was there. _THAT_ I'm sorry for." 

"Where did you get the bomb from."

"Oh, come on dearest, you know I have bomb people. Gag people. Balloon people. Even have a guy that can whip up a wacky-waving-inflatable-arm-flailing-tube-man on the fly! He's a real piece of wo--"

"Put Alfred on the phone." 

"How about you just call back and let him answer, I'm not about to lose my voice trying to shout down Jeeves." 

 

_That_  made Bruce growl and he hung up the phone on his end with a 'fine', the phone ringing as soon as he'd set it down on the receiver. 

 

A few moments later, Alfred had appeared, arms folded behind his back and he looked just a tiny bit smug.

Just a little around the purse of his mouth.

_Shit._

Joker had gotten fairly good at reading the old man, sassy old shit and that look meant that he was in some kind of trouble.

 

"Master Bruce has requested I attend to _poor_  Master Dick... Poor dear is quite devastated..."  

The clown winced, his nose wrinkling as he sat up on his knees in the giant chair and leaned on the armrest, glaring at the butler. 

"Oh _really_."

"Oh, _indubitably._  Master Dick is quite rattled and I should say so, after all, you did hear of the explosion-- I'm sure you did. Matter of fact, Master Wayne is intending to call back to discuss the extent of the saga, I do hope you will be capable of answering the phone yourself..." 

His eyes narrowed at the old balding fart and he waved him off. 

"I think I can manage." 

Alfred gave him a long look, somehow able to keep from smirking and turned on his heel, leaving Mister J to his own devices. 

No sooner had the help departed did the phone ring, causing the clown to jump in his seat. Damn it all! 

"Hello? Wayne residence, Mrs. Wayne speaking." He barked curtly, irritated at the phone for startling him but still unable to drop the schtick. 

"When I get there, I'm going to destroy you. I won't wait. I will be there in 10 minutes. You. Better. Be. Ready." Batman growled into the phone and hung up before he got a response. Bruce was furious-- this was the first really publically asinine thing that the Joker had done and his lawyers were ALREADY working on the papers needed to sweep this saga under the table-- the Joker was going to PAY. 

The clown slammed the phone down with a trembling hand, his eyes widening as it dawned on him that unless he started RUNNING, he wasn't going to make it to the bedroom in time to prepare for his furious Batsy. 

Unfortunately, the socks he was currently sporting did nothing for traction and as he fled the great room he was in, whatever he'd had was lost as he slid in his Batman logo'd socks across the ever-polished marble floors. His wipe out was legendary, it was such a solid spill that despite it causing him to land on his knees roughly, he was more disappointed that no one was around to see it. 

But still, time was of the essence! _Literally_ this time and the clown started to laugh, almost hysterically at himself, at this situation. At how difficult it was to run in house robe and boxers with a partial erection. 

He hadn't really gotten Batsy that mad at him in some time... Not since they'd made things whatever kind of official, domestic nightmarish bliss, marriage of madness was and part of him, a weird, idiotic part felt almost guilty. Or something close to guilt. 

But that part was frequently and easily ignored as he moved with frantic grace, throwing open the gigantic doors of their massively shared bedroom (seriously, it was the size of the BIGGEST warehouse he'd occupied on his finest run) and  flung off the few scraps of clothing he was wearing before he bodily dove onto the bed, now panting from running and laughing. He felt silly and delirious as he he pulled open one of the bedside table drawers and pulled out the most convenient squeeze bottle of lubricant. 

Cheek to the mattress, it was a struggle to ready himself quickly for his husband. Bats sounded livid, the way he'd growled out what he was going to do... Daddy Waynebucks was mad... In Bruce's defense, since they'd 'formally' been together, the clown hadn't gotten the police called... But it wasn't really on purpose. He shuddered, sliding his lubed fingers deeper, his free hand balled into the bedding as he imagined the look on his lover's face. Hmnmhhh, he was mad.. 

Oooooh, it'd been a long time, long enough for the tingle of anticipation that came with being thrown down and fucked versus laid down and loved to be making it difficult for him to shove his pointer and middle finger into his ass. He'd still need to get another in before-- 

The bedroom doors boomed open and the clown detangled himself, from himself with a yelp, head whipping to stare at his furious partner, dick ragingly hard as he stomped towards the bed, his belt quickly unbuckled and thrown blindly from his body. Bruce didn't slow his stride as he unbuttoned his slacks, stepping out of the pants as they slipped down his legs and he was behind the pale man. His hands grasped at white, narrow hips and he squeezed hard, hoisting the Joker's hips up and toward him as he impaled the other man with a growl.

_"Ffffffuuu--"_ The Joker hissed, hands fisting the bedding as Bruce slid in to the hilt and then bodily pressed him to the bed. It was a blur of pleasure and pain as the heavier man smashed into him, breath heaving in and out of his broad chest in a growl. 

Bruce was furious. He was incensed. Seething as he buried himself into that man over and over, glaring at the back of his head, at the way he squirmed from where he was pinned between the edge of their bed and the mattress.

Never, ever, would his clown dream of putting their boy in danger. No no,  not even by accident. Today, whether it was sudden or dawning, a lesson would be learned. 

"Don't... you... _EVER_!" Bruce roared suddenly, his fingers digging into the Joker's hips as he shoved his body hard to the bed, sawing into his ass, knowing he was leaving bruises, knowing that he was going so hard, so deep that it couldn't have been entirely pleasant. 

**"EVER!!"**  

_"AHHHHHH!!!"_

He pulled out, shuddering and tore off his dress-shirt, the buttons flying haphazardly around the room as he shredded the garment and tossed it away, just as he suddenly pushed the Joker away from him, further up the bed. 

Bruce crawled after him, nostrils flared as he panted through his nose, his dick as red as his cheeks. He was still pretty furious and it wasn't going to be until he had this fool of his shrieking that he'd begin to feel a fraction better.

The Joker ached... so good. _Oh, GOD_ , this was like when he fought with the Batman, when they'd come to blows, kisses with fists. Strokes with strikes. There was little time to reminisce as he was easily flipped onto his back, pushed even further up and Bruce followed after him. 

The look on his face spelled certain doom, still frowning, brow still furrowed. But his eyes, his eyes sent the mixed messages. The ' _I do love you, but you're a fucking idiot, you must know that'_ and the clown could only nod against the pillows as Bruce advanced, roughly grasping pale thighs. 

An almost worried noise left the clown and he let himself be folded, not like he was in any position (literally) to stop his knees pressed against his chest and suddenly the weight of Bruce was on him and a shrill cry left his lips as the vigilante's cock slammed smoothly back into him. 

Okay, maybe-- maybe next time, he'd-- _aww, hell_ , what was the use of trying to think about anything other than breathing and trying not to scream as he was drilled. 

Bruce was still furious, teeth ground together as he shoved his lover into the bed, sawing in and out of him so hard, so fast that the lube from the Joker's preparation was spread too thin to be of any assistance now. The grip of the pale man's body was tight, stronger as he started to wail, moments from coming. 

Growling at the sight, the black haired man slid a hand up from under one trembling thigh, up the clown's heaving chest, barely BARELY over his throat and he palmed his face suddenly and almost hard, smothering his mouth, his eyes lidding as he watched the Jokers widen and felt him gasp against his hand. 

It was meant to shut him up but they both knew it was as much as Bruce would allow his husband during this savage punishment. But the look that the Joker gave him, the way his eyes rolled back in his head as he came was enough for Bruce-- _for now_. 

He continued to smash, crushing the breath out of his clown with how hard was was thrusting. Finally, Bruce was able to let go, blowing his load deep inside of the Joker with his breath groaning out of him. 

Fucking a kink into his lover's back did take a lot of effort, truth be told and Bruce lay heavily against the body folded beneath his, not pulling out but shifting between the thighs he was sandwiched against. 

His hand moved to the Joker's sweat-wet hair, stroking the electric green away from his forehead. 

"Don't ever do that again, okay?" 

The clown could only nod as he sucked in his breath, still trembling from the aftershocks of being savaged so thoroughly. 

 _ -_

"Mister J, are you well?" Alfred asked the slightly limping clown, his lips pursed with that look the Joker hated. 

He was answered with an unreadable gesticulation as the smarting and just freshly awake mad man fetched his mug of coffee. 

 Bruce smirked. 


End file.
